OMG!! Rey, i'm so sorry for your loss and i know how it feels, there is no bigger pain than losing a beloved person, it doesn't exist a bigger pain, period. I lost two really close persons before coming to this country 5 years ago, and still can't stop crying when i remember them. My father is still in cuba, and i haven't hug him for 5 years, but i know he is there and for that, i thanks God, but i can't imagine not having him. It is tough, rey my friend, but time will heal your wounds, and bring you resignation to your life. In the meantime, know that you have friends all across the internet sharing your pain, so is less painful for you. Get better bro.